‘grow through, what you go through.’

this post is going to read like chaos. cause that is how life has felt for the last long while. or maybe it’s more like an intense overwhelmingness. I dunno. all I know is that soooooo much has happened this year. so so much. a TON of good. but since September I’m feeling like life has been testing me and teaching me some harder than normal lessons.

the last 4 weeks in particular have been intense. game-changer / ‘time-to-make-some-changes’ intense.  I am truly amazed that I am not in a flare right now because the stress has been out of control.  I don’t think, ever in my life, that I’ve felt so mentally + emotionally + physically overwhelmed all at the same time over such a long stretch. and there are some people I’d like to blame for that. but I cannot. because at the end of the day, I am responsible for everything that happens to me. and it’s up to me to not give other people the power to control my thoughts and actions.

If I do not go in to a flare shortly, then VSL#3 and chicken feet are saving my life.

colonoscopy first thing tomorrow morning so we will see what my guts tell mr doc. man.

praying.

 

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I hate colonoscopy day.

this is the story of my last colonoscopy. June 3 2016. [I have another one coming up this Wednesday. insert crying like a baby face here.]

so, May 31 was my first official day in remission as there was no blood in my stool that morning. (blood is the last symptom to take a hike when I go back in to remission.)

then the eve of June 2 I am chugalugging 4 LITRES of liquid drugs aka poison toxic overload. (this is one kind of prep that is required before a colonoscopy, to clean oneself out) all the while wondering what it was doing to my recently healed, ever so delicate, intestinal lining…. Continue reading “I hate colonoscopy day.”

colonoscopies are so much FUN. said no one ever.

colonoscopy-prep1 down and 15 more to go. SIXTEEN. is the number of cups I need to drink of this NOT VERY GOOD “colon cleanser”. I wish the makers of this crap would just leave the “flavour”  out. A sorry attempt at strawberry and as far as I’m concerned it makes the taste that much worse. and it’s slimy. like thick slimy. and I wanna cryyyyyyyyy. OMG

Continue reading “colonoscopies are so much FUN. said no one ever.”