‘grow through, what you go through.’

this post is going to read like chaos. cause that is how life has felt for the last long while. or maybe it’s more like an intense overwhelmingness. I dunno. all I know is that soooooo much has happened this year. so so much. a TON of good. but since September I’m feeling like life has been testing me and teaching me some harder than normal lessons.

the last 4 weeks in particular have been intense. game-changer / ‘time-to-make-some-changes’ intense.  I am truly amazed that I am not in a flare right now because the stress has been out of control.  I don’t think, ever in my life, that I’ve felt so mentally + emotionally + physically overwhelmed all at the same time over such a long stretch. and there are some people I’d like to blame for that. but I cannot. because at the end of the day, I am responsible for everything that happens to me. and it’s up to me to not give other people the power to control my thoughts and actions.

If I do not go in to a flare shortly, then VSL#3 and chicken feet are saving my life.

colonoscopy first thing tomorrow morning so we will see what my guts tell mr doc. man.

praying.

 

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