All good things must come to an end?

I’ve been working on this next post for a week now… I just can’t seem to find the right moment to get out the right words. This is all that I’ve managed so far………. 

last Friday:

I hate that line or idea,  ‘All good things must come to an end.’

…maybe to make room for bigger and better things?? actually, scrap ‘maybe’ and instead, YES!: bigger and better things ahead.

My Friday night is not going at all how I intended. I should NEED to be busy getting my casa Kitson ready for my renters come this Sunday! can’t believe it’s Friday already!!?! where has the time gone. slow down, life!! Right now I need to be cleaning, filling the holes in my walls + painting, packing up the last bits of things + selling more shit. and this all has taken a backseat. Instead, I’m sitting on my empty living room floor, listening to music and having a bit of a pity party for myself. more like a big pity party if I’m being honest. there are tears and wine involved, so pretty sure this night’s going downhill from here.

goodbye-abode

Continue reading “All good things must come to an end?”

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LOL. a ridiculous post brought to you by my inappropriate-moment-of-the-day.

I cannot. stop. laughing. and this probably isn’t even funny at all and I’m only laughing (still) cause of the wine……….

this is what happened: I just answered my front door looking like THIS:

take-me

to a tall dark and handsome french man. wearing a shirt that says ‘TAKE ME’ and a pair of BOOTY SHORTS. with a wine in hand, of course.

GOOD HEAVENS. LOL. {insert monkey-with-hands-over-eyes-face-here}

and at that moment  I had only had ONE glass of wine. so not sure I can even blame this embarrassment on that. actually, I’m really not that embarrassed. maybe more like entertained by the ‘jenna-ness’ I guess. typical me…

who answers the door looking like that? how it didn’t occur to me to look in the MIRROR I’m standing in front of, that is right next to the front door. lol lol lol. my hair looks the SAME WAY it did on my last post for crying out loud.

AND on top of that, the first thing that came out of my mouth was (he had a little munchkin with him): ‘ I wasn’t gonna open the door but I saw you’re cute lil’ girl.’

Can you say, CREEP?!! what I meant was (and in hindsight I should have explained to him) was that I don’t ever answer the door to strangers. (cause if he was a man by himself, he couldaa been a killa)

an.y.waaay….

the #handsomefella, turns out, is my neighbour a couple doors down. (#142 in case my boyfriend ever breaks up with me lol!! (just kidding babe)) and he was coming to tell me that my garage door was OPEN. geeze louise jenna. get your shit together.

so. thank the good good Lord for him! cause I most definitely would have gone to bed with it open. thank you thank you THANK YOU. (I am forever grateful for people that take the time to do the simple (yet big) acts of kindness)

and this ‘Take Me’ shirt… I’ve never worn before. so of course the one day I decide to throw it on…lol..

it’s been in my drawer for probably half a year, thanks to my boyfriend ;-) ….not a good shirt to give your girlfriend when you’re not around haha

lol. The shirt isn’t bad. but the overly-friendly/crazy-drinking-wine-lady ‘complimented’ by the booty shorts and wine in hand just puts it over the top for me in this situation. (I think he thought I was nuts). but I am grateful for the laugh.

AND. the only reason I was wearing these damn short shorts in the first place is because all my summer clothes have been packed away! these are my sleeeping shorts. we had a BEAUTIFUL fall day today and I was doing some work outside and I got hot :)

cleaning-my-patio

 

so I guess the one good thing about this post is i’m showing my commitment to blogging.

I really am sticking around this time.

wink + a smile,

-me

 

Healing is about creating change I choose.

Today/right NOW(!) marks the first Monday morning of 51 more to come (!!!!), where I get to decide how to fill my time for the week. and that time, I am certain, will be filled with more meaningful, fulfilling moments + HEALING. which means waaaay less stress, personal + professional growth, more dedication to this blog + did I say HEALING? being well well WELL. ‘doing my shake-my-booty-happy-dance.’

and knowing this all makes my cup of coffee taste that much better!!!

coffee-monster

messy hair don’t care :P Continue reading “Healing is about creating change I choose.”

today marks ONE FULL YEAR that I’ve been in remission. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

never in my #colitislife have I achieved that milestone. never before have I gone one full bleepin’ YEAR.

Holy POOOOP.

this calls for a dance party. and a glass of wine! ha. just kidding. better not push the envelope. I did have a whole bottle of wine and lots of cheese this past Saturday. insert monkey holding hands over eyes face here. i’m caught in an eating-my-feelings vicious circle. or it’s more like a tornado. Continue reading “today marks ONE FULL YEAR that I’ve been in remission. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)”

Indulging tonight.

This is what I call a #colitishealthfail.

But it’s Friday. Friyay. And it was gooood. So there’s that 🤷🏻‍♀️

and at least that’s one of my homemade grass-fed beef patties. That counts for something, right?

‘grow through, what you go through.’

this post is going to read like chaos. cause that is how life has felt for the last long while. or maybe it’s more like an intense overwhelmingness. I dunno. all I know is that soooooo much has happened this year. so so much. a TON of good. but since September I’m feeling like life has been testing me and teaching me some harder than normal lessons.

the last 4 weeks in particular have been intense. game-changer / ‘time-to-make-some-changes’ intense.  I am truly amazed that I am not in a flare right now because the stress has been out of control.  I don’t think, ever in my life, that I’ve felt so mentally + emotionally + physically overwhelmed all at the same time over such a long stretch. and there are some people I’d like to blame for that. but I cannot. because at the end of the day, I am responsible for everything that happens to me. and it’s up to me to not give other people the power to control my thoughts and actions.

If I do not go in to a flare shortly, then VSL#3 and chicken feet are saving my life.

colonoscopy first thing tomorrow morning so we will see what my guts tell mr doc. man.

praying.

 

I hate colonoscopy day.

this is the story of my last colonoscopy. June 3 2016. [I have another one coming up this Wednesday. insert crying like a baby face here.]

so, May 31 was my first official day in remission as there was no blood in my stool that morning. (blood is the last symptom to take a hike when I go back in to remission.)

then the eve of June 2 I am chugalugging 4 LITRES of liquid drugs aka poison toxic overload. (this is one kind of prep that is required before a colonoscopy, to clean oneself out) all the while wondering what it was doing to my recently healed, ever so delicate, intestinal lining…. Continue reading “I hate colonoscopy day.”

how I stopped the next flare in it’s tracks.

step one. don’t do THIS↓ all summer long and you won’t have a flare to stop in the first place.

img_5407

HA. just kidding. the stress from wine deprivation alone would be enough to put me in a flare.

lol. kidding again. kindaaaa.

Continue reading “how I stopped the next flare in it’s tracks.”

when you fall off the wagon, it’s stupid hard to get back on.

this summer has been all kinds of cheating when it comes to my diet. actually i’d by lying if I didn’t say this summer AND spring.

when I’m in remission, staying away from ‘trigger foods’ is extra hard because I don’t actually feel sick right after I eat them. for the most part. sometimes I’ll bloat up like a balloon or I’ll get pains on the side of my tummy but the majority of the time if I eat something ‘bad’ I don’t actually feel it doing damage. Until it’s too late. then BAM. i’m in a flare.

to my #ibdfighters reading this:  the struggle is real, right? or how does remission feel for you? is it hard to keep the diet tight or easy because you feel sick immediately after you eat something?

so far this time around i’ve been in remission since end of February. so six months.

tonight I actually went out of my way to get some terrible food cause I obviously didn’t have it in the house and I was craving it like crazy.

Kraft_dinner

Kraft Dinner, I hate you, you jerk.

the two glasses of wine I had probably helped bring those cravings on and definitely impaired my judgement cause when I got to Safeway I also thought it was a good idea to get a tub of peanut butter and chocolate ICE CREAM. insert monkey-face-with-hands-over-eyes emoji here. go big or go home, right? #stupidme.

thank goodness I got back in to my exercise routine since i’m back from my #summeradventure and my stress levels have been pretty low :) I think that’s been my saving grace. AND, it’s SUMMER. I really believe that this season helps to keep me in remission. + all the Vitamin D from the sun. work isn’t crazy busy. lots of lake time. beautiful sunsets …..

Sioux_narrows_Sunset

peace and calm can always be found at the lake.

I am strong and I can do this. back to healthy eating, jenna.

night night, to whoever is reading this. xo.

This is what throwing-in-the-towel looks like in #colitislife

what I mean by ‘throwing in the towel’ is that I kinda let #vacaymode get in the way and gave up on my stay-in-remission-diet and exercise routine. oye. 

I may have gotten carried away with some cheeeeeese tonight. And wine. And gyozas 🙈. And waaay more crap than I should have over the last 2 weeks.
But I am on a #vacay and it’s summer time. Sooooo. I am allowed to stray from the plan, right?
I NEED to stay away from gluten, potatoes and dairy. + a lot of other crap, but those are probably my main 3 intolerances.
But it’s HARD.
More on that later. for now, I have to tighten shit up. Or this could get out of hand and I’m going to wind up in a flare.
Goodnight from Revelstoke, BC. Xo
(I’m staying in an Airbnb and now I am hooked)