this post is going to read like chaos. cause that is how life has felt for the last long while. or maybe it’s more like an intense overwhelmingness. I dunno. all I know is that soooooo much has happened this year. so so much. a TON of good. but since September I’m feeling like life has been testing me and teaching me some harder than normal lessons.
the last 4 weeks in particular have been intense. game-changer / ‘time-to-make-some-changes’ intense. I am truly amazed that I am not in a flare right now because the stress has been out of control. I don’t think, ever in my life, that I’ve felt so mentally + emotionally + physically overwhelmed all at the same time over such a long stretch. and there are some people I’d like to blame for that. but I cannot. because at the end of the day, I am responsible for everything that happens to me. and it’s up to me to not give other people the power to control my thoughts and actions.
If I do not go in to a flare shortly, then VSL#3 and chicken feet are saving my life.
colonoscopy first thing tomorrow morning so we will see what my guts tell mr doc. man.